A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
