How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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