It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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