she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
