Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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