The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
