i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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