So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
