Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
