I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
