i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
