YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
