New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Boobs speak an international language.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
