can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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