We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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