One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
