I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
