She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
