i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She needs sedatives and a leash
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
