do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
