Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
