I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
