im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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