We won't sleep together?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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