I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
