can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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