watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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