So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
