Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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