best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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