You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
