All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize