either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
