Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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