i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
