Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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