Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize