omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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