Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We just shotgunned beers for America
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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