he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
