It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
