my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize