my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
