If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
