Girls should come with a carfax report
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
