Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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