i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
