when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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