they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize