So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
