Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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