You made me cry and you don't even care
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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