I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
