Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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