She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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