The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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