DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
