Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
