I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
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Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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