dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my sisters under your porch take her home
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
