Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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