it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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