And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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