After last night, I could never be a politician.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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