Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
