yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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