I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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